Date: 22 May 2009, Friday.

When she cries.
She gets a hug.
Sometimes I wish I was her.
And yes.
It brings the tears on.

Many a times.
I look back.
And I can't believe how much I've grown.
Unknown to the stranger's eyes.
I know what has been happening to me.

It felt like a withdrawal.
Putting on a smile when I'm supposed to.
Laughing when the occasion arises.
Talking when the time comes.
But the only comfort I seek.
Is home.

Home is where I never have to pretend.
It is a comfort place for me.
I could curl up in any corner of the room, of the house.
And I know I'm safe.
Safe from the dangers out there.
Curling up.
Asleep.
I wish it could stay that way forever.

Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock.
How nice it would be to have someone by my side.
To be able to rush back home for someone special.

Regrets were made.
Half regretting.
Half not regretting.
But the choice has been made.
And the clock can't be moved in any way.

Somehow I believe I can get through this.
Whatever this is.
My life ain't the same anymore.
Because I know.
When I came back from China,
everything have changed.
If only it was for the better.

[[...To have courage for whatever comes in life - everything lies in that.
-Mother Teresa...]

Sometimes,
without knowing,
it actually hurts deep inside.

<3 meiyun